an awakening

Summer thus far has really been a hazy blur of events. For the past month, I've been taking an English Comp II class at ACC every M-Th (that ends this Wed) and doing research in the afternoons right after my class until 5pm (which I'll continue doing throughout this summer). Because my cousin was staying with us for the month of June, I've been using every chance I get (weekday evenings (after research), Fridays (no research or class), and either Saturday or Sunday (depending on that week)) to show her around Austin (Barton Springs, South Congress, The Domain, Austin Stone, The Arboretum, The Drag, Chinatown, etc). Yesterday we dropped her off at the airport and it was kind of bittersweet because I feel like bonded so well and were able to become so comfortable, open, and blunt with each other, and I was able to realize so many things about myself, my nuclear and extended family, and just my identity in general, which I can expand on in a separate post...aahhh~

On top of my cousin being here, my family has also been in the process of selling our house/moving, so at the beginning of this summer (primarily before my cousin arrived) we had cleaned up A LOT of our house, and going through so many old things (stuff from the past 15+ years) was really a trip down memory lane, as it brought back a lot of laughable but also strange and unwanted memories O.o...Because we potentially get the key to our new home on July 8th, we've been working really closely with our agent helping us sell our house (esp this past week) to make our house as presentable as possible, as she shows it to potential buyers. I personally don't like this woman because the way/tone in which she talks to my parents is disrespectful that I question her professionalism....

I think a combination of many factors (English class- I'm slow at writing..., research, Texas heat, my dad being back in Austin, my parents' lack of communication, cleaning/repairing our house, making it presentable, trying to sell it, and taking care of my cousin staying with us from Taiwan) has really made this past month stressful and exhausting for me. But I also forgot to mention that my oldest sister came back to Austin to visit our family for this past week, and whenever our entire family gets together, I just really don't like it because no one is ever on the same page and I again am put down, talked down to, and have to suppress my thoughts/words/everything because everything I say is unacceptable in some form or way. So my sister being here also added to the already present stress here...but....

...yesterday, I feel like I was able to summon up some confidence to confront some of my family members and put a dent in the injustice in my family.

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Unfinished entry- Started Sunday June 30th